A Dramedy Memoir Like Nothing You've Ever Read Before Because You Have Never Read MY Words Before
I will be unapologetically sharing a mix of raw dramedy, self deprication, with laughable moments, truths, fun-facts, not so fun-facts, and more. I'm hoping that this book is a read that you can relate to.
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*Welcome to my world!
I've learned that when chaos strikes in life, whether it's losing your car in the parking lot or your keys in the house, (let's not mention losing your kid in the mall), we are given a choice to either sink into despair or don our metaphorical clown noses & find a silly side amidst all the havoc.
After all, life should be all about cookies: calories ignored, crumbs celebrated. As long as there are enough to share it can be sweet. If you find your cookie jar empty, that would be "BITTER"sweet and you would need to phone a friend—stat! Ultimately, everyone deserves a half-full cookie jar at the very minimum.
Truth is, life doesn’t always hand you the world’s greatest cup of warm tea to go with that cookie though. Sometimes it serves the world’s worst—burnt diner coffee, lukewarm in a chipped mug, by some guy named Vinny. But it’s what you toss in that flips the script. Sugar, cream, or a laugh, sometimes a good cry—so stir it up! And don’t confuse that with "stirring the pot." That can be a whole chapter on its own. Maybe it’ll be. Who knows?
*So what made me an expert? Absolutely nothing! My real! My share! My memoir!!
This book is your survival guide, so to speak—not the kind with wilderness tips or inspirational quotes about mountain biking. No, this is the kind that teaches you how to respond when someone says, “Um, yes, sure I was listening but could you repeat it to me - later I'm kind of busy right now,” how to fake enthusiasm while at an event you don't want to be at, and how to deal with the daily strife's that sometimes leave us scratching our heads or hiding under the covers for a few minutes (which could turn into hours).
It’s a bunch of thoughts, a little turmoil, a tad of what I've learned about others and more importantly, myself, and some humor put into words. Things we all think from time to time but never say out loud. And most importantly, it’s about convincing yourself that microwaving a bean and cheese burrito and adding salsa counts as self-care and a solid food pyramid choice—or as the kids these days call it, “MyPlate.”
You won't find perfect routines or life-changing hacks here.
What you will find is:
- Brutally honest ME attempting to stay afloat
- Relatable breakdowns turned into breakthroughs
- A few laughs to remind all of us, we are not alone
- and more...
Because, well, surviving daily life isn't about thriving—it’s about showing up, finding joy in the chaos, and doing your bestest-ish-ness combined with the bullshit-ish-ness.
*Let's Be Frank:
Or Jimmy, Sal, Walter -- You pick, but I'm sticking with Frank here!
This memoir is colloquial charm with superlative laughs as well as some very uncomfortable, even unnerving moments. It's the real me—stuffed with words some folks might call typos or mispronunciations. A memoir more out of order than a defensive attorney constantly objecting in a courtroom. It's real. It's raw. It's unforgiving. Fact-based with exaggeration, sarcasm, awareness, and surprises.
Colloquial… now that’s a ten-dollar word, huh? Makes me sound super brainy. Oh, the irony! Say it with me: col·lo·qui·al. Next time you’re sittin’ in a Jersey diner, chewin’ the fat, and talkin’ louder than the jukebox, drop it in. You’ll feel whip smart, like you out-talked the whole booth.
More to come on superlative...
*And then:
There's this!
Here I am armed with my dictionary and thesaurus (fine, they’re Google tabs, but the spirit is there) ready to roll. Meanwhile, kids these days are out there letting AI tools reshape and rewrite their thoughts into something that no longer shows their personality or originality. (Please read on to see how I found that out.)
I never gave Copilot a second thought - honestly, not even a first thought - until my daughter caught me Googling where punctuation goes when parentheses show up (my personal grammar nemesis). She suggested I try Copilot. The look on my face? A perfect blend of confusion, suspicion, and “did she seriously suggest this right now?” I felt an eye‑roll form. Why would I ask a GPS such a question when I clearly wasn’t looking for directions?
She explained - I investigated. And each time I dug a little deeper, I couldn’t help but think of the movie, "HER" starring Joaquin Phoenix (ACK!). Let’s just say I’ll stick with my GPS for directions and continue doing things the “old‑school” way - my way. I'll continue taking pride in knowing my work is just that - MINE.
On Serious Note:
I've done my time; now it's my turn to serve the subpoenas!
I spent decades saying one thing while secretly meaning another, all to avoid confrontation, turning a blind eye, so to speak, sometimes throwing out words from my personal JoAnn-tionary. Words I've collected over the years, just waiting to be used at the right moment.
I like to think of myself as the Captain of Subtext, navigating the seas of double meaning. My secret power is tossing out words that sound straightforward but carry a wink from the not-so-blind eye, leaving another wondering.
Dive into my memories, and you’ll find bits of my screwy life baked right in—embracing hidden twists and turns, naivety, fights for an illness diagnosis, moments of judgment and misunderstanding, some humbling, uncomfortable, humorous, chaotic times while raising an eyebrow from time to time (figuratively speaking, since I literally cannot do that—I’ve tried for years). After writing for myself for years, I only recently decided that I am willing to share as I still find myself learning from each moment. Feeling empowered by these amusing yet disturbing phenomena, you'll witness yours truly firsthand, with thoughts all over the place just like my brain works. Reality at its finest or so I've been told. I'm not looking to be the "next best thing", just to be relatable, achievable, accountable and "explainable". I hope you feel that I am just that and you enjoy the read.
Think pizza: with thin crust, the pepperoni is on display. With deep dish, you’ve got to dig through sauce and cheese to uncover the truth—or the pepperoni, in this case.
So, yeah, my life? Definitely deep dish—messy, layered, and “worth a fork” (and I know you know what I mean). Either way, I’m serving it up hot, with a few winks, a side of sarcasm, a stack of pancakes, and bacon from my favorite Jersey diner to round off this messy meal (life)!
"In a Nutshell:
Thank you!
Shout‑out to everyone I’ve encountered in my life. There really should be an us in memoir—otherwise I’d only have one page, half empty… or rather, half full. Full of what, you might ask? Stay tuned.
I appreciate you all for your unstoppable, unconditional love and support—on earth and beyond.
Your strength helps me through the toughest days and nights, and your wisdom and advice are bountiful. Of course, they only work if I choose to listen and agree with your suggestions. As some of you know, I’m not always good at that—but who really is? Does a chef like being told his potatoes need more thyme? Does a driver enjoy a back‑seat driver? Does a fashionista like being told their outfit looks like crap? The answer to all is probably: no. Yet if we take a moment to listen, breathe, understand, and reflect, we eventually get it. So again, thank you!
Oh, and let’s not forget my tremendous gratitude to those who knowingly tossed rough lessons my way—forcing me to dig deep and ask myself, “WTF have you been thinking and doing all these years, Jo, and why?”
I don’t need to list names. You all know who you are, so give yourselves a pat on the back—no matter which category you fall in. Job well done!